How I Wish...

...I was a better blogger.

Now, I'm just writing this from scratch, so ignore the weird paragraphing and such. It's not important. I just feel like I have to get a few things straight.

Sometimes, my thoughts are in a turmoil, and my brain just doesn't function properly, as much as I try. Which results in a lack of effort to really produce something amazing to put on this blog. I don't know if I've mentioned this yet (and I'm really not going to go back and check), but all I want to do is make people think.

And how do I do that?

Well, by exploring topics that make me think, of course. Makes sense, doesn't it? (Just in case you wanted to know a little something about me).

So I'm writing this as more of a motivational tactic for myself. I will observe the world around me and write down whatever interests me, and I will turn those into posts I can then put on my blog. Because a blog isn't a blog without updates, and my life isn't that boring to be lacking stories I know would be fun to read. And write.

Wish me luck.

Visions and Appearances

When I’m lying in my bed, trying to sleep, I tend to have little visions—let me explain: I simply play a scene in my head, and I always have to come to some sort of conclusion with it. My latest ‘vision’ was intriguing.

            Prom. Senior year. Music. Break gigs. And appearances.

            Appearances is the key.

            I’m not a very confident person. In fact, if I have to be honest, I’d describe myself as meek.

            But that’s not who I want to be; at least, it’s not truly the person I am inside.

            If someone asked me how they looked in their prom dress (and you can see what prom had to do with this inner discussion), my answer would probably be “amazing”. If they doubted them, I’d tell them “beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”

            Because, however cloche, it’s also very, very true.

            So I envision myself going to prom in a beautiful silver dress, wearing tall, eye catching shoes, my nails painted red, my makeup done perfectly.

            But I don’t want to portray myself as “beautiful”.

            Like many say, it’s what’s on the inside. I believe that has to be a bit rephrased to really be true, though. It is what’s on the inside, but if it’s hidden behind layers, no one can see it. Only actions can bring to life who a person is inside.

            So even if I didn’t walk into prom in that beautiful silver dress, to myself I’d still portray confidence. Because if I believe I’m just as important as anyone else (not to be arrogant), instead of sulking in the shadows, who would dare to disagree?

            It’s all about what you want to show the world. That is what makes the difference.

I'm A Procrastinator

I’m a perfectionist, and I like it when things are done on the spot, but when it comes down to the cold, hard truth, I’m simply a meek, resigned procrastinator. Why? Well I’m glad you asked.

            I don’t procrastinate because I like to leave things to last minute. In fact, if you look at it from my point of view, I don’t really leave things to last minute. I simply… have my priorities switched around.

           

A typical day in my life:

Wake up

Work out

Shower

Eat

Go to class

Finish “last minute” homework

Go to class

Eat while starting today’s homework

Go to class

Go to class

Write

Read

Do homework

Write

Sleep

            Hmm… That’s about it. It can change from day to day, but you get the gist. I’m not ‘wasting’ time; I’m just not spending it all on school. It’s not like I don’t use my time to the best of my ability. Reading and writing—those are my abilities, aren’t they?

            And they’re priorities I actually want keep up with.