Sometimes, even a writer needs some help putting words to feelings. I discovered that today.
When two people are in a relationship, it's all about connecting, and keeping that connection. When two people are apart for a little while, sometimes, the little phone call, email, text, skype call, can all make both people feel like they are each other's.
Being apart can make each person feel full of angst, like something is missing from their lives, and to let something like this keep going--to not contact each other just to let the other know you're still there--can end up making the relationship bitter.
Everybody wants to feel that connection. Oh, it can get lost along the way, I'm sure, but a little bit of effort from both sides can always pull two people back together, if they want it enough.
I guess that's the feeling I feel whenever I'm away from people I love, whether it's a family member or a friend. It doesn't only go for relationships. It's a loss that's hard to explain, and it can be bitter, or it can be dealt with by simply seeing how the other person is doing.
It's never good to make up stories in your head. Another thing I learned.
Putting words to feelings, especially for someone like me, always makes muddled things seem so much clearer.
Wednesday 14 November 2012
Monday 5 November 2012
Silence
Yesterday I experienced something kind of amazing.
I'm not entirely sure how to describe it. It was very... quiet. I was just sitting there, listening to someone speak. I tend to have multiple conflicts with myself throughout the day about life, about people, about how messed up the world can be.
And then suddenly, out of no where, I felt like I understood it all. Not in a way that I can put it into words. It was just a feeling, an underlying knowledge that everything will be okay, and that we're all going to die one day and we have to live life to the fullest and stop moping that life isn't perfect.
It was so peaceful.
Throughout it all, this epiphany, I was just hoping it wouldn't go away, because I knew once it did, all the conflicts would come back, all those arguments with myself, and I'd have to go back to trying to figure out life.
I still have that memory though, locked in my mind, and thinking back on it reminds me that I can never let the world influence me to a point that I forget who I am.
It was just... a moment of absolute silence.
I'm not entirely sure how to describe it. It was very... quiet. I was just sitting there, listening to someone speak. I tend to have multiple conflicts with myself throughout the day about life, about people, about how messed up the world can be.
And then suddenly, out of no where, I felt like I understood it all. Not in a way that I can put it into words. It was just a feeling, an underlying knowledge that everything will be okay, and that we're all going to die one day and we have to live life to the fullest and stop moping that life isn't perfect.
It was so peaceful.
Throughout it all, this epiphany, I was just hoping it wouldn't go away, because I knew once it did, all the conflicts would come back, all those arguments with myself, and I'd have to go back to trying to figure out life.
I still have that memory though, locked in my mind, and thinking back on it reminds me that I can never let the world influence me to a point that I forget who I am.
It was just... a moment of absolute silence.
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