Subtleties

Why can’t people simply speak what’s on their mind? Why is it that, when it comes down to telling the truth and keeping quiet, people have to choke?

            I’m not criticizing—okay, maybe I am (a bit)—because I do it too. I mean, the fact of the matter is, people are scared creatures who live with certain habits they sometimes can’t shake. It’s not a crime; it’s just life.

            But it doesn’t mean we should try to be subtle about things.

            One of my greatest ambitions—and I mean this, with all my heart—is to be able to live my life as if I’ll die tomorrow. Death is swift. It comes at unexpected times. It swoops in and swoops out, taking people as it travels the world, exploring the living—it’s only victims.

            I wish I could drop my things and burst into a song in the middle of the hallway—not because I want attention, but just because I want to know how it feels. I don’t want to be ashamed of who I am.

            Not that I am… Well, it’s hard to say (I haven’t quite figured out what my problem is).

            But that’s not the point. The point is, humans in general go through life trying to cover something up, trying to hide consequences until they get smothered in them. In the end, it’s not very subtle at all.

            If I’m feeling sad, is it a crime to break into tears? Or is that not subtle enough?

            If I’m feeling angry, is it bad to want to shout until I’ve ruined my voice? Or is that not subtle enough?

            We humans, we live under a set of rules and precedence and whatnot.

            And I wish… Well, I guess I just wish that people wouldn’t be so subtle about it all the time, that maybe, for once, we could all just say what we want when we want and not worry about what others think.

            Because what’s life if we’re living the way we think others want us to live?